Let all the bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all the malice. Be kind to one another,tenderhearted,forgiving one another,as God in Christ forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32I said that out loud today and thought..that would make a great blog!! So here I am. I feel like I can speak about this because enough has happened in my life that I could choose to be better..or bitter. Not right now..in this moment..I have everything I need..love, health, family,friends,great job, the list goes on..but in the blink of an eye..it can all change..and then I will have a decision to make. In the past, I can proudly admit(most of the time), that I chose to be better. Sometimes it took a while, and bitterness might have lingered for a moment..but it didn't darken my door long. After losing Hagen, there were many times bitterness could have taken over. When a new mom was with her beautiful newborn..I didn't curse her under my breath, I thanked God that woman had a healthy baby. When a friend won an award, earned a great job, or received a special opportunity ..I didn't turn green with envy..I thought..what did it take to get to that point in her life? Bitterness can challenge you daily, but it's our job to make the choice to better ourselves when we feel ourselves turning inside out with doubt. There were times that I actually felt honored that I was chosen for times of great challenge..apparently God thought I could handle it, and who wants to let Him down?? Not me.
One thing that is challenging us right now..we have financial demons at every turn. Let me clarify..we can pay the bills..and we are SO THANKFUL to have jobs..but like most people..its TIGHT. I see others that seem to be living it up..but I do not know their situations..I cannot compare our situation to theirs. I do get sad sometimes that we can't go out to eat whenever we want, go on fun trips all summer, and give Jack and Ali all they want and need. But Greg and I have both agreed..this has been the best thing that has EVER happened to our marriage and our kids. They understand why we have to say no and they do not have a false sense of reality. We are not building expectations that will only let them down one day..when a certain lifestyle cannot be maintained. As far as Greg and I..we have had to communicate better than ever, get to the bare bones of our love..spending time at home with Jack and Ali..just being a family. I know this is just the place we are at for now..we helped create it by bad decisions, but nothing is a mistake..it has a purpose. And the day will come, when we have money again. Everyday is a choice not to get overwhelmed and angry at our situation, but to become better.
Bitterness can alienate you from the very things that will ultimately bring you happiness. It is easy to get angry about a situation that might have been created to bring you closer to God. Don't ignore an opportunity to learn something and become a better Christian, a better friend, a better parent, or a better spouse.
